From Broke to Hope

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Archive for the month “July, 2014”

Fawking Pity Party

Everything in this bag is garbage and I know I shouldn’t be eating any of it!  But I’m having a full on pity party, started two days ago!  I understand now that feeling of not only being able to control eating but even more importantly not caring! I’m not overweight YET, but eating this shit is going to help that YET situation.  So I’m not sure what this pity party is about but all I know is I’m sitting outside by myself and its gorgeous out! I do cherish my quiet time, but somedays being alone is for the pits! I have a phone book full of gentlemen that I could call but ehhhhhh some if not most of them aren’t worth the hassle! And I’m not good at faking fun! I’m not sure if this pity party is man related, or just the holiday blues but what ever it is I’m gonna ride it out! !!!

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That’s strange

I was watching a television show today, and I noticed a womans ring on her hand it was on the right hand. I instantly began to think to myself, Is she married? Is she wearing her ring on the correct finger? Wait I don’t remember what hand you wear a wedding ring on. I find that oddly strange, because sometime ago I was married, I remember that much because I spent right smart of my money doing so. Why don’t I remember what hand you wear your wedding ring on. Truth be told I don’t even remember much about that day. It is as if my heart decided to scrub my mind of the entire damn event. I did have a faint memory jog the other day, because the anniversary would have been two days ago. July 2, I remembered that much. All the beautiful details that I spent months and days pinning over, all erased from my mind, gone. My father walking me down the aisle, gone, my father dancing with me gone. The dance with him, gone. Maybe one day those memories will come back, but truth be told I don’t want them to. Sometime ago I was trying so hard to forget all those awful memories, I guess all that wishing finally came true. I know that those memories are there, buried like a treasure only in this case no one is searching for this treasure not even me. Maybe its worth it that I forget. I just find it kind of strange, that I don’t even care to remember.

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